Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

In the wonderful world of 'what-ifs', also known as movieland, we have a new entrant. What if santa clause was actually a vicious evil creature who fed on the flesh of innocent children? What if his happy helping elves were actually dark soldiers of his evil army? I give you then, ladies and germs... Rare Exports!

The Skinny: Swedish scientists unearth the 'real' santa clause who is not really a rotund bearded ginormous-bellied ho-ho'ing man of mirth, but is instead a violent ruthless evil creature who eats little children, only to have the helper elves go medieval on their asses ... read imdb.com's synopsis:

"In the depths of the Korvatunturi mountains, 486 metres deep, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up! This Christmas everyone will believe in Santa Claus."

The Helmer: Jalmari Helander, 

 

The Casts: Tommi Korpela,

Per Christian llefsen,

Jorma Tommila,

Jonathan Hutchings 

The Prediction: This is a Finnish movie from Finland. Doesnt exactly scream Hollywood does it? But looking at the trailer, it looks very, very interesting. And promising.

Trailer

Official site

Twith films review

Sanctum (2010)

James Cameron is today, what Steven Spielberg was yesterday and Walt Disney was the day before. Their names alone can draw in the punters like ball bearings to magnet, mice to cheese, mozzies to blood and the average male to playboy bunnies. You just can't go wrong with movies directed, made and produced by these dudes. And its all worth it because their films are pretty much put together; you will be entertained, and you will voluntarily pay money for it. Which brings us to the next movie tagged under Cameron's behemoth-like name. From the outset it looks like a "The Abyss" all over again. And if it is true, then its a good thing because "The Abyss" kicked 90s movie ass back in the day. 

The Skinny: Taken from imd.com: "An underwater cave diving team experiences a life-threatening crisis during an expedition to the unexplored and least accessible cave system in the world."

The Helmer: Alister Grierson

The Casts: Richard Roxburgh, Rhys Wakefield, Alice Parkinson, Dan Wyllie, Christopher Baker, Allison Cratchley, John Garvin

The Prediction: This looks pretty good actually, even though its not directed by Cameron himself it is in fact produced by him. Which good be a better thing, when you think about it. Especially in light of the commencement of Avatar 2 and 3 in the works. So is this going to be another Abyss? It can be, and if it is then we're in for a treat. Plus, its going to be in 3D. Surprise surprise. Not. So yeah, watch it when it comes out because like all bees to honey, we just can say no to Cameron can we?

Trailer

slashfilm's take on Sanctum

Paul (2011)

Dude-ness is always a popular genre amongst men and their first dates. It kinda makes their dates value their dude-ness without all the negative element of being a dude. Which is why this movie, from the shape and look of the trailer, is a great looking dude movie with the all the necessary ingredients: best dude friends, car chases, high comedy, explosions, and an alien called Paul.

The Skinny: 2 comic-crazy dudes with overly layered elements of geek-ness from the UK embark on a once in a lifetime trip to the US, only to encounter an alien called Paul. Hijinks ensues. Chortle!

The Helmer: Greg Mottola - Adventureland (2009), Superbad (2007)

The Casts: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Sigourney Weaver, Seth Rogen , Jason Bateman

Release Date:18 March 2011

The Prediction: From the guy who directed the very funny, very realistic rites of passage for late teen boys, Superbad (2007), we have an alien comedy actioneer with Britain's very NOW personages Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead (2004), and Hot Fuzz (2007). Just where can it go wrong? Nowhere, thats where. So yeah, go watch it when it comes out. Bring a hot date. Act real cool. Hot date will dig you. 

Wiki on Paul

Official trailer

The Horde / La Horde (France) (2009)

This looks to be an awesome zombie movie from France. It has gangsters, dirty cops and zombies all in one place trying to survive and kill. Brilliant. 

The Skinny: A group of cops engage with a Nigerian gang with the sole objective of avenging the death of one of their brother cop. Unknown to them the location of this confrontation also doubles as a site for zombie infestation. What ensues is an insane mix of guns, axes, full-contact combat. 

The Helmer: Yannick Dahan, Benjamin Rocher

The Casts: Claude Perron, Jean-Pierre Martins, Eriq Ebouaney, Aurelien Recoing

The Prediction: I know that the French make kick-ass action gangster films, but i had no idea they also indulge in heavy-hitting kick-ass zombie movies as well. I thought their other cinematic imports comprised of great sweeping vistas, epic tales of urban romantic meltdown, weeping men, trains and intelligent small animals. Which is why this particular movie grabs my short and curlies and refuses to let go. Why? Simply because the storyline screams greatness. Gangsters versus dirty cops? 10 outta 10. Gangsters versus dirty cops versus zombies? 20 outta 10. I am so going to catch this audio visual mayhem at my next visit to the DVD stores. Yes I am. Nuff said. 

Trailer

Wiki on La Horde

True Grit (2010)

Westerns basically made movies great. Who can ever forget early childhood watching men in hats shoot other men in feathers? Or racing across railway lines playing catch with a locomotive whilst riding a horse and shooting people and shit? Which is why the 3rd coming of the western wave is very much welcomed. Like the never-gonna-happen re-awakening of vietname war movies ...

The Skinny: 14 yeard girl seeks out one-eyed retired, grizzled US Marshall tracker/hunter/killer to track/hunt/kill the man who killed her pa. Based on a 1968 novel by John Portis, which was released in 1969 starring John Wayne by John Ford. Wayne won best actor award for his effort in this movie. Now we have one-eyed retired, grizzled Jeff Bridges in place. Nice. 

The Helmer: The Coen Brothers. 

2009 A Serious Man

2008 Burn After Reading

2007 Chacun son cinéma ou Ce petit coup au coeur quand la lumière s'éteint et que le film commence
(segment "World Cinema")

2007 No Country for Old Men

2006 Paris, je t'aime
(segment "Tuileries")

2004 The Ladykillers

2003 Intolerable Cruelty
(uncredited)

2001 The Man Who Wasn't There
(uncredited)

2000 O Brother, Where Art Thou?
(uncredited)

1998 The Big Lebowski
(uncredited)

1996 Fargo
(uncredited)

1994 The Hudsucker Proxy
(uncredited)

1991 Barton Fink
(uncredited)

1990 Miller's Crossing
(uncredited)

1987 Raising Arizona
(uncredited)

1984 Blood Simple.
(uncredited)

The Casts: Matt Damon, Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin.

Release Date: 17th February 2011

The Prediction: Looks like the Coen brothers are back in form after their very successful and succint No Country for Old Men. Just check out the trailer and I dare you to tell me you don't want to watch this movie. The last great action packed western was the very fun 3:10 to Yuma, which kicked ass. Now we have this. How incredible is it when we have the Dude himself, Bridges, Matt I'm-gonna-kick-yo'-ass Damon and Josh Don't-FAck-Wi'-Me Brolin shooting guns and kicking ass? Its like the perfect ending to pretty decent year of movies, you know? So yes, please watch this movie because if you don't crap movies like the Twilight series will conquer all, and you don't want a legion of Biebers running the world now do you? No you don't. 

Trailer

Wikipedia on True Grit