Sunday, July 4, 2010

Predators


The original Predator was a gun-toting masterpiece of pure firepower, machismo and big Arnie in accordance to the action coda of the 80s. Directed by John Mctiernan, it made big money at the box office and earned its place as one of THE action piece of its time. The movie had everything action junkies AND audiophiles wanted: kick-ass 101, thumping bullets, whupping chopper blades, blazing wall of fire and the decimation of a primary jungle. And it had the coolest alien to ever, a cross between a professional wrestler and the Creature from the Black Lagoon fitted with modern milirary gear. Inspiring.
The Skinny: A bunch of trained killers from various parts of Planet Earth are siphoned off to a games reserve on another planet to be hunted down and killed for sport by vicious alien predators. Whatever skills, kill techniques they've learned over the years will be put to the ultimate test just to stay alive. Led by the very efficient mercenery Royce (Brody), this group of dangerous individuals must not only survive the hunters but themselves.
The Helmer: Nimrod Antal - Armoured (2009), Vacancy (2007), Control (2003), Biztositas (1998), Bohocloveszet (1994)
The Casts:  Adrien Brody (Royce), Topher Grace (Edwin), Alice Braga (Isabelle), Walton Goggins (Stans), Laurence Fishburne (Noland), Danny Trejo (Chuchillo)
The Prediction: This should be good - as I see it as a reimagination of the the franchise, but with latter day special effects and spiritual integrity of the orignal. Forget the Alien Vs Predators crap, this is old school stuff. Interesting choice of leading man with Brody, as he is pretty much on the skinny side. But he is supported by Mexican bad-ass Danny Trejo. So yeah, I'm looking forward to this.
The Verdict: Great stuff. Though I like Brody, I kinda wished it was someone a lot more buff than him. I'm old fashioned that way. I'm also wondering why they brought in Laurence Fishburne. I'm not exactly sure if he's character was necessary in the whole piece, unless of course if its to explain some origins stuff on the predators themselves. The nice little twist nearing the end makes up for the strange choice of having Topher Grace in the mix of some seriously dangerous people. All in all - ***/*****

The Expendables


This is the one action junkies from the 80s have been waiting for, for a long long time. Sly Stallone is a generous man; from what he has received over the years, he's giving back with this homage to all things kick-assery.
The Skinny: Sly Stallone heads an all star cast of action heroes for an all out assault on a South American dictator. Joining him is Jason Stathom, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Arnie (in a bit role) and their kick ass brethens.
The Helmer: Sly Stallone - Rambo (2008), Rocky Balboa (2006), Rocky IV (1985), Staying Alive (1983), Rocky III (1982), Rocky II (1979), Paradise Alley (1978)
The Casts: Sly Stallone (Barney 'the Schizo' Ross), Jason Statham (Lee Christmas), Jet Li (Yin Yang), Dolph Lundgren (Gunnar Jensen), Eric Roberts (James Monroe), Bruce Willis (Mr. Church), Arnold Schwazenneger (Trench)
The Prediction: Its like a roll-call of ALL the action heroes of the past; a reunion of heavy hitters which includes for the first time in mainstream action cinema Terry Crews who has finally come home to the action genre. Jean Claude Van Damme was invited to join this blood fest but he turned it down to act in his own movie, which sucks as his participation would have completed it. Forget the story line, forget the plot, just sit back and enjoy the mayhem.

Jonah Hex


Jonah Hex is a DC western comic character created 39 years ago by writer John Albano and artist Toney DeZuniga. Hex is a horrifically scarred bounty hunter of the wild west who kicks ass.
The Skinny: This is an origins movie, which tells the story of Hex, and how he obtained the scar and the single-focused desire to destroy bad, bad people. In this outing, the US government has picked him to intercept and destroy cowboy terrorists. He is aided by the very talented Megan Fox who gets to wear corsets and essentially feed the bedroom fantasy of men from the ages of 9 to 90 ...
The Helmer: Jimmy Hayward - Horton Hears a Who (2008)
The Casts:  Josh Brolin  (Jonah Hex), Megan Fox (Lilah), John Malkovich (Quentin Turnbull), Will Arnett (Lt Grass)
The Prediction: Despite the very green director whose first movie was a CGI cartoon, this looks pretty good from the word go. Its like a combination of all your favorite meat food but in movie terms: cowboy action, rock and roll score, hot babe, revenge mode, James Bond killer mission and hot babe. You have Brolin, still smokin' after No Country for Old Men, you have the hot babe Fox still burning after the Transformer series. And you have Malkovich as the bad guy. What else could it possibly need?
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